I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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