I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
