$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
