I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize
