I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
