i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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