I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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