when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I look better un-naked...
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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