my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
