Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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