Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
