I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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