I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
