How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He? As in you personified your dick?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
