We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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