I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
