sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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