I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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