Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
