dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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