it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
