It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
