Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
