You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
