Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
