he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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