I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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