Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
she peed on how many people?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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