Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
