Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
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