I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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