omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
