I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
