Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
