I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
not ubering you a puppy
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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