is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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