Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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