Its about making memories worth repressing
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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