This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You can't just leave with hair like that
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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