that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
