Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
