as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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