Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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