Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
