Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
i out mim tonsoeep
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