Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize