I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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