hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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