So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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