I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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