Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
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