i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
