I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
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