i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize
