He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
