I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
