Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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