My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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