She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
