dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
