And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize