You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
