you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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