So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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