ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
