No, drunk sperm still make babies.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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